friendly reminder that David Gaider almost “slipped something in there” relating to a romance between Varric and Hawke. ✿◕‿◕✿
Tracks
I love the fact that even if my mother doesn’t know Varric by name, she calls him “Hairy Chest” whenever she sees artworks of him.
This is what I apparently like to waste ten minutes on at almost 10 PM. XD
But this one is a little dirty and quite horribly parodies the ever popular “Jingle Bells.”
Enjoy!
Dwarven Sex
Dashing to the ‘Man
With naughty thoughts in mind
Gonna get a drink
And smack a dwarf’s behind
He cannot be romanced
It’s such a freaking shame
The only romance I ever want
Is with Varric in this game
Oh, dwarven sex, dwarven sex,
Dwarf sex all the way
Oh, all of the flirty things
I’d really like to say
Dwarven sex, dwarven sex,
Dwarf sex all the way
Oh, all of the flirty things
I’d really like to say
With all of my new Hawkes
I thought I’d have a chance
To speak to dear Varric
And get in to his pants
It’s sadly plain to see
From Bianca on his back
That no matter how I beg and plead
I can’t get him in the sack
Oh, dwarven sex, dwarven sex,
Dwarf sex all the way
Oh, all of the flirty things
I’d really like to say
Dwarven sex, dwarven sex,
Dwarf sex all the way
Oh, all of the flirty things
I’d really like to say
Oh, dwarven sex, dwarven sex,
Dwarf sex all the way
Oh, all of the flirty things
I’d really like to say
Dwarven sex, dwarven sex,
Dwarf sex all the way
Oh, all of the flirty things
I’d really like to say
I’m helping you indulge in elaborate revenge fantasies. It’s good for you!
Hercuhawke
We are the companions. Guardians of the Hawke and protector of heroes. Heroes like Garret Hawke. Honey, you mean Garret HAWT!
Hercuhawke; I won’t say I’m in love
*Dead*
BWAH!
Forever lawlz
OH MY GOD NOOO
(Source: kajainthesky)
My true DA2 Hero…
I had to do it. I just had to.
Eventually I think I’ll probably, over time, end up doing damn near every character ever.
And yes, there will be a new Varric with every set.
It only seemed right to do all the companions too.
I’m probably gonna end up doing another post with Seb, the Hawke family, etc. in the future.
I have way too much fun with memes.
steal all of the relivs
fix all of the eluvians xD
-
Track Name
Varric's Tale - Fenris
-
Album
Dragon Age 2
-
Artist
Varric
“They know what I am. Let them come, if they find the courage.”
Once slave to a Tevinter magister, Fenris was altered: lyrium was burned into his flesh, its magic both stripping his memory as well as changing him forever. He became a living weapon, and eventually used his power to escape his chains. Now he finds himself in a strange land with no friends—and a former master that refuses to let him be.
(Source: simply-crestfallen)
(904): I just realized that “Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?” is in iambic pentameter. I’m going to write a poem…
tremble, little lion man.: Dear Mister Gaider
Let’s make a deal. I won’t judge your fanatical shipping of prettyboyelves and you let me have my ruggedly handsome Varricmance. Ancestors, haven’t you ever learned the basic rules of shipping? JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE JUDGED.
dwarf/human…
(Source: enjolrasbitchface)